Some jokes to share

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mum.""And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

One day the first year teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then > asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?""One little girl raised her hand and said,"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter."Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."